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Where's Chauncey?

So I have this garden gnome named Chauncey.  Why do I have a garden gnome, and why would I name it Chauncey you ask?  Two words:

 

Street Cred

 

Whazzup playa?


 

You know the old expression "don't take a knife to a gunfight?"  Well in my family the saying was "Sweet gnome."  I'm not sure the two sayings have much in common but my family was drunk a lot, so it makes perfect sense to me.

Chauncey likes to vacation to bed and breakfasts in Iowa.  If you beat the Hawkeyes in football then you get to stay free as a Buckeye fan.  This means Chauncey has carte blanche through their rolling cornfields.  I don't think he's paid for a room since Keanu Reeves was the OSU quarterback.  Did you ever see Point Break?

 

 

So Chauncey finds this new sweet place!

 

It has jacuzzi bathtubs

 

 

Sweet linens!

 

Huge beds fit for Woody Hayes himself!

 

Lovely botanical gardens

 

In fact Chauncey said he might just stay there through the football season and try to help the Hawkeye proprieter through another doleful season of Big 10 mediocraty.  What a good Chauncey.